Work has been extremely busy lately. I don't know if this is a test of how organized I actually am or if my prioritization skills needed some honing. I just know that it has been the most difficult part of this year. Being a nurse has changed dramatically over the years. Assessment. Implementation. Goal. I am sure I am leaving something out. At this stage of my career, I give myself and good pat on the back for remembering that much. These days, I just want to do what is required of me....but not only that. I want to do it with excellence. There are enough folks who do just what is necessary to get the job done. I believe the word might be slacker. Although I do not use Wikipedia much due to the ability of others coming along and changing the information there online, Wikipedia on answers.com had something which seemed to emulate what being a slacker is all about:
"A slacker is a person who habitually avoids work or lacks work ethic. Slackers may be regarded as belonging to an antimaterialistic counterculture, though in some cases their behavior may be due to other causes (apathy, depression, laziness, etc.). (http://www.answers.com/topic/slacker)
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines slacker as : "one who deliberately avoids work or duty <there will be no slackers tolerated in this group—anyone who doesn't do their share will get booted out>" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/slacker)
During last year when all was going chaotic in my life and the life of my family, I was a bit of a slacker nurse. This concerns me because I look at what I do, as a nurse, as a service to my community. Yes, it is my job. But it is also what I do to reach out to the children and families within the Inland Empire. Families even bring their children to Loma Linda because of the services we offer. Being a nurse is a calling and it definitely is not for everyone.
I am positive that I allowed our circumstances get the best of me last year. I cannot and will not allow that to happen. Although I am quite tired these days, I know that I need to do what I need to do to take care of me. I have lives depending on me. I need to be quick on my feet, knowledgeable, alert, compassionate, understanding, helpful plus a whole other list of things which include being a mediator towards of parents who are unable or unwilling to behave at least civilly around their children. What makes this all eventually work out is once again, me taking care of me. When I don't take care of me, something internally changes and I don't seem to care. When I don't seem to care, that is where the problem lies. No one can make me care. I am the only one who can change this....that's the plain and simple fact.
Truth be known: I DO care. I care a whole lot. I can't hold onto that stale, empty excuse: "I had a bad childhood." There are so many children who are abused and I am one of the lucky ones who made it. But what does making it mean? Does it mean that I have never suffered pain from the my past? Not by a long shot. I have done what every other person in the same place as myself has done. I have persevered.I have continually clawed myself up out of that pit of hell on earth. There absolutely is nothing that this earth has to offer me that I cannot get from my God. Life kicks me in the teeth; God brings stability back into my life.
I can go on and on here. The point I am trying to make is that we all have choices to make in this life and I choose not to be a slacker in what my calling is. I am not perfect, but I am open and willing to admit when I have missed the mark and when I need to make a change. We serve a God of second chances!
My next thing that I want to do is to get a study package from Joyce Meyer Ministries entitled, "Developing Power Thoughts." I am thinking that this will be something that will be of help to me and I can share it with others. http://www.joycemeyer.org/ProductDetail.aspx?id=O0015133
I need to go to bed......good night all and sweet dreams.
Lisa, I knew you guys were having a rough time, but I had no idea how horrible it has been for you. You have my deepest respect for your perseverance. And I didn't know about your hellish childhood. I've noticed that people who are harmed or abused often have one of two reactions. Some people get hard and bitter. The rare wise person lets her heart break open and becomes loving and compassionate to others, which is what you have done. You and your family are in my heart and thoughts and prayers, my amazing cousin.
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