Worked the last two days.....

Hello Everyone!

I worked the past two days and am glad to be back home. The work days were steady and enjoyable. Working with good co-workers is great and it makes the day nicer for everyone.

I have not much new to say. I came home and completed this week's assignment and will make a comment or 2 tomorrow for the topic of the week in class then and slam out the paper that is due on Sunday.  I am glad I am off during this weekend. Maybe we can do something fun:)

About my paper that is due on Sunday, it is for the class that I am in, Essentials of Evidence-Based Practice. This class takes over where Intermediate Statistics leaves off. We are each having to do a 3-part paper and I am doing mine on "Pediatrics and the Role of Pet Therapy". I will be working on part 3 tomorrow and then combining the 3 parts in to one final paper. Here's hoping for a A on the paper and in the class. The doggie's picture above is Lizzy the Dog and she is a pet therapy dog with children and is so cute<3

Well, I am done with my rambling.....have a restful night...

~Lisa

Life can give you a sucker punch when you least expect it

 I had something happen while Phil was gone to his conference in Las Vegas. I was feeling well---actually doing quite well. I finished almost an entire assignment I had to do before Thursday and thought I would go and get something to eat. As I turned to lock our front door, I got the sucker punch that I wasn't expecting. There, taped to our front door, were three papers. I quickly glanced at them and felt as if I had the rug pulled clean out from under me. Phrases such as "if you don't understand this, get yourself a lawyer" and "Your house will be auctioned off to the highest bidder on August 28, 2013 at 9:00 am"........I felt like I was going to lose it.

Have you ever had your anxiety go from a 1 to 25 in about 30 seconds? That was my experience. I quickly called Phil and gave him the news and told myself that there was NO WAY IN HELL that I was going back and re-living the year 2011. NO WAY. I caught my breath and I went out and got some dinner although I didn't have much of an appetite after that.

I realize that people have so much happening in their lives. Phil and I have been struggling to keep our heads above water for the past 3+ years financially. I was literally numb inside for awhile. Nip this in the bud Lisa---you can do this. God will give you the strength. Stay strong--not in your own strength. I listened to my music and I also contacted Holly for an appointment. I needed to talk to her and just get out how I was feeling. I made it through the night--praise God.

Music just helps me stay afloat and it did that night. Thank you God for music.....I needed it so bad.

Phil sent me a text and it said: We WILL get through this.

And we WILL!

Crazy, Busy Workday!

Hi there!

So freaking glad to be home! There was DRAMA galore at work! Usually is drama when a child is held on a CPS hold. I wonder why when a parent has abused their child that SUDDENLY they become loving parent(s). This is just a thought.....and then when they have their child placed in foster care---------oh the dramatics that happen. A regular soap opera.

Plain and simple---it is all about the child and their safety.

To the parents: If you were a responsible parent and didn't abuse or neglect your child, you wouldn't be losing them now, would you? So please, for the sake (and the sanity) of those around you----save your dramatic session. No one wants to see you fall apart and behave hysterically. This isn't all about you--it is about your child--and someone will take care of your child the way you can't. If you could, it wouldn't have gotten to this point. Be glad that someone cares enough to be a foster parent. Clean up your act, get sober and drug-free. How about getting some parenting lessons--Lord knows you need some. Maybe, just maybe, you might get a second chance. I, along with everyone else here, are simply doing our job--even if you can't or refuse to recognize that fact.

But for now, CPS has the final word--so don't try and convince me or anyone here of why you are so innocent.

The only one who is innocent is your child.

Life and living as normally as I can.......

Hello Everyone!

I am doing this now because it lets people know what I am up to (I have not posted in ages) and because it is time to take care of me.. Writing is quite therapeutic and right now, I need to do this for me. As a nurse, I give and then I give more. Why? It is not just because it is part of my job. I give because I like to. Giving is an inherent part of who I am and I can't imagine doing anything else. 

Now, I feel like I am a little empty. In need. Not needy. Just that I need something. I spend time with God-but probably not as much as I should. So I am returning my first love: music.  I went back several months ago to rediscover music that I enjoyed when I was 14 or 15. Music that had started before I ever came into being. If it were not for music, I don't know where I would be.I don't play an instrument and I sing poorly except for that rare occasional time when I can hit a right note. Here it comes: I absolutely love Neil Sedaka (I say with a breathy voice). When I first heard his voice, I was hooked. I don't know how to describe his voice, but I found some information that now makes sense to me. His voice is between a tenor and alto--I said, "what is a tenor??" and it was described as "  a type of classical male singing voice whose vocal range is one of the highest of the male voice types". That makes sense because his voice can hit some really high notes. I have enjoyed over the years how he has changed and how his songwriting has evolved. In current interviews, he has spoke of "raising the bar higher" and at 74 years of age, he has not allowed himself to be content with just doing whatever. His singing is passionate, inspiring, and timely. His music has been so soothing, so therapeutic, uplifting and just helped me when I needed it most.

I have had my share of ups and downs and I am so grateful to God, to friends, to family, and for music. These are words to a song that have helped me hold things together:

Beginning to Breathe Again (Neil Sedaka, 2013)

No more tears and no more sorrow

I can take a deep breath

I'm through with heartache in my life

Now the storm has washed away

And I can see the rainbow

It feels so good to be alive

I know for sure that I'll survive

I'm on a new road and I'm cruising along the highway

I'll do it my way

I'm beginning to breathe again

I love me for myself

And it's better now I'm the true me

The light shines through me

I'm beginning to breathe again

I have been through stormy weather

Now a change is coming

Don't need no shadows anymore

I can lift my head and I can finally find the answer

It's not too late to start again

And now my heart is on the mend

I'm on a new road and I'm cruising along the highway

I'll do it my way

I'm beginning to breathe again

I love me for myself

And it's better now I'm the true me

The light shines through me

I'm beginning to breathe again

I'm picking up the pieces of my heart

Now the puzzle fits

And I can find a brand new start

It's so good to be myself

Instead of always hiding

I'm gonna shout it to the world

This is me and this is what I'm all about for certain

There'll  be no sorrow anymore

I'm finally walking out the door

I'm on a new road and I'm cruising along the highway

I'll do it my way

I'm beginning to breathe again

I love me for myself

And it's better now I'm the true me

The light shines through me

I'm beginning to breathe again

No compromising

And I'm happy to say it's my life

No pain and no strife

I'm beginning to breathe again

I'm beginning to breathe again.......

So, with this anxiety that comes and goes, I remember to breathe again....and again....and walk out whatever situation I encounter through the grace of God. His mercy and faithfulness is there for the asking. I'm ready---->let's go and "move the bar higher" and not be complacent with what I have.

I need to go to bed as I work tomorrow, but I want to say that I love you all<3

Lisa

 

 

New Beginnings

Hello to everyone!

I hope this finds you all happy and feeling well. I have not posted in awhile so here is a quick update:

I had a great Thanksgiving; I was off before the holiday and the day after Thanksgiving....8 days total! It was nice to be off and do stuff around the house. In my previous posting I had mentioned that I withdrew from LLU. I had applied to three other universities and I guess the third time was a charm and I was granted conditional admission to Walden University. Walden U is a online university and the program is different from what I wanted to be in but in the long haul will still work for me. I am in their Family Nurse Practitioner Program and will start on December 3rd,  2012. I should say that it is partially online at least in the beginning. When it comes time for clinicals, I will be going to those. I am excited for many reasons; first, I was going to wait until about March 2013 to restart. I had been praying on and off that when God wanted me to return back to school that He would let me know and He would make a way. Well, I was speaking with an advisor and she said that because I had previous graduate experience, I was eligible for a $5000.00 grant. I spoke with Phil and we decided that I should go for it. The second reason being that if God wants to make something happen, he will. I am so thankful and grateful for God for this second chance!

I have to work for the next two days, so I am making this short. I just wanted to share this with those who might be interested. 

Blessings,
Lisa

~Colossians 3:16

The Message (MSG)

^15-17 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Reinventing Me......

Hello everyone! I hope this finds you healthy, happy and blessed. I am doing alright these days but I believe that I am at a point in my life where I feel change is needed. Change is good:) It is painful....but it is sometimes necessary to experience some pain along the way to where you want to go. 

I have had to do some very real and serious introspection regarding where I want to go in my life. This is a good thing for anyone to do as it helps one to make coherent choices and in turn guides our decisions in life. 

I have always tried to be and adult and "suck it up" when I I have needed to. I am tired these days due to my poor choices. Lack of sleep and prioritizing in my life has caused me to be unhappy. Yet, I have this need to help others. I know what I need to do but I can't seem to do it at times. It is a vicious circle which is very painful not only to me but to my family as well.

What to do and what to leave behind and where to go. The answer should be fairly clear cut and "spot on" but I have allowed myself to become scatterbrained by my choices. I have just allowed myself to enjoy being a kid and well, I love Tinkerbell:)

 

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) 

⁷ For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline


I have finally gotten my item I ordered from Joyce Meyer Ministries called "Developing Power Choices." Now I have to commit to listening to the CD's and do the personal study guide diligently just like I did when I was in school. For those of you who don't know, I withdrew from the Master's Program at LLU. I only had three choices on what I could do to try and reach my goal of being a Family Psychiatric NP. I chose #3 which was to withdraw and finish up the program elsewhere. My personal life, me as an individual, internally feels like a LOSER with a capital L but I keep reminding myself that I can do anything I devote my heart and soul to do and if God places a desire in your heart, he won't just leave you by the waste side to drown in a pit of despair. 

I need to go to bed. I'd like to do what I said I would do and that is get some real sleep.

Blessings,

Lisa

 

Happy Labor Day....

I hope everyone had a great labor day. Mine was uneventful....I just relaxed and just stared at the pile of papers on my desk and the pile of clothes in our bedroom. My BIL Wes left home on Saturday after a week long visit. We went to Magic Mountain and up to Big Bear and out to eat and just had a good time. It will be back to the grind for all of us.

I need to get more organized around our home which means I need to get more motivated. What does motivation consist of?

Psychology Today states that:

"Motivation is literally the desire to do things. It's the difference between waking up before dawn to pound the pavement and lazing around the house all day. It's the crucial element in setting and attaining goals—and research shows you can influence your own levels of motivation and self-control. So figure out what you want, power through the pain period, and start being who you want to be."http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/motivation

There is a lot of really good information here. I will read it.....as soon as I get motivated. Right now, I am tired and I need to get some rest.

I will end with this scripture:

Romans 12:1-2
[ Place Your Life Before God ] So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (The Message)

Blessings,
Lisa