I am doing this now because it lets people know what I am up to (I have not posted in ages) and because it is time to take care of me.. Writing is quite therapeutic and right now, I need to do this for me. As a nurse, I give and then I give more. Why? It is not just because it is part of my job. I give because I like to. Giving is an inherent part of who I am and I can't imagine doing anything else.
Now, I feel like I am a little empty. In need. Not needy. Just that I need something. I spend time with God-but probably not as much as I should. So I am returning my first love: music. I went back several months ago to rediscover music that I enjoyed when I was 14 or 15. Music that had started before I ever came into being. If it were not for music, I don't know where I would be.I don't play an instrument and I sing poorly except for that rare occasional time when I can hit a right note. Here it comes: I absolutely love Neil Sedaka (I say with a breathy voice). When I first heard his voice, I was hooked. I don't know how to describe his voice, but I found some information that now makes sense to me. His voice is between a tenor and alto--I said, "what is a tenor??" and it was described as " a type of classical male singing voice whose vocal range is one of the highest of the male voice types". That makes sense because his voice can hit some really high notes. I have enjoyed over the years how he has changed and how his songwriting has evolved. In current interviews, he has spoke of "raising the bar higher" and at 74 years of age, he has not allowed himself to be content with just doing whatever. His singing is passionate, inspiring, and timely. His music has been so soothing, so therapeutic, uplifting and just helped me when I needed it most.
I have had my share of ups and downs and I am so grateful to God, to friends, to family, and for music. These are words to a song that have helped me hold things together:
Beginning to Breathe Again (Neil Sedaka, 2013)
No more tears and no more sorrow
I can take a deep breath
I'm through with heartache in my life
Now the storm has washed away
And I can see the rainbow
It feels so good to be alive
I know for sure that I'll survive
I'm on a new road and I'm cruising along the highway
I'll do it my way
I'm beginning to breathe again
I love me for myself
And it's better now I'm the true me
The light shines through me
I'm beginning to breathe again
I have been through stormy weather
Now a change is coming
Don't need no shadows anymore
I can lift my head and I can finally find the answer
It's not too late to start again
And now my heart is on the mend
I'm on a new road and I'm cruising along the highway
I'll do it my way
I'm beginning to breathe again
I love me for myself
And it's better now I'm the true me
The light shines through me
I'm beginning to breathe again
I'm picking up the pieces of my heart
Now the puzzle fits
And I can find a brand new start
It's so good to be myself
Instead of always hiding
I'm gonna shout it to the world
This is me and this is what I'm all about for certain
There'll be no sorrow anymore
I'm finally walking out the door
I'm on a new road and I'm cruising along the highway
I'll do it my way
I'm beginning to breathe again
I love me for myself
And it's better now I'm the true me
The light shines through me
I'm beginning to breathe again
No compromising
And I'm happy to say it's my life
No pain and no strife
I'm beginning to breathe again
I'm beginning to breathe again.......
So, with this anxiety that comes and goes, I remember to breathe again....and again....and walk out whatever situation I encounter through the grace of God. His mercy and faithfulness is there for the asking. I'm ready---->let's go and "move the bar higher" and not be complacent with what I have.
I need to go to bed as I work tomorrow, but I want to say that I love you all<3
Lisa
No comments:
Post a Comment